… weeping may remain for a night, but joy comes in the morning.
The holidays are approaching and it can either be a time of joy or of sadness. Many people have lost loved ones & when the whole fam gets together we can start thinking about who should be here. I’ve lost many loved ones and slipping into that mind set can be so quick you don’t even realize it. What I am going to try to do this year is to look around the room and see all the family that is still here. My father lost his dad three years ago but I still have my dad, he’s young and healthy & I know I’ll have many more years with him. My dad also lost his mother a little over a year ago, but he still has an amazing step mom. It’s awesome to acknowledge the loved ones still here & I’m not telling you that if you don’t think this way then you’re wrong or whatever, stay sad. I’m only trying to give you a different mindset. It’s so easy to get stuck in this sadness during this joyful time of the year. Which it is OK to be sad. Say it with me it is OK to be sad.
The important part is to see your sadness. Notice I didn’t say understand because we can be sad for many different reasons or no reason at all. Acknowledging your sadness allows you to move on from it. Be sure to take a mental health day. If you’re feeling really sad maybe try skipping a class or two, try emailing your prof and letting them know that you’re not feeling great. Mental health is just as important if not more than physical health. Take that day off and just cry and cry and cry. Crying is not a sign of weakness and can actually make you feel better. But if skipping a class causes you too much stress, try doing things things that will lift your spirits.
When you feel like you want to skip class too much because of sadness, that’s when it becomes a much more serious problem. Prolonged sadness can lead to depression. When I say prolonged I mean nothing is lifting your spirits. Things that used to make you happy are no longer working. You’ll find that you’re no longer able to even finish your favorite book or watch your favorite movie. Motivation levels start decreasing and your grades start suffering. People will tell you to just stop being sad & start getting your work done. But you can’t. Emotions are not switches that can turn off whenever you want them to. Especially depression.
But what is depression? Webster’s dictionary definition says: “a state of feeling sad; a serious medical condition in which a person feels very sad, hopeless, and unimportant and often is unable to live in a normal way.” Think of a depressed person. Picture what they’re wearing, what their facial expression says and how they interact with people. Did you picture a hermit slob with a frown on their face? That isn’t always the case. Depression can strike anyone. Even someone who looks “happy” to you may be feeling crushed on the inside. Someone could say “Oh, well you don’t look depressed.”…. well did you want me to bring my actual dark cloud with me? I found this quote on tumblr that really explains this: “You can be depressed and not feel sad or blue. Depression can also be a haze of sleepiness, distractedness/obsessiveness cycles, and a twinge of irritability that can be hard to recognize because you might already be a “fiery” person. It can feel like a lazy Sunday that keeps imposing itself for weeks or months.”
Depression is a haze you can’t get out of. Sometimes people don’t want out of that funk. It becomes a comfort or a crutch. They’ve known sadness for so long that they’re almost worried that they could never feel anything else. This is real. People of all ages can feel this way. There is no age limit on depression, it can hit anyone. People need to start understanding that. See there’s like this stigma that comes along with being depressed. That for someone to be depressed they have to of gone through something traumatic. Why would someone who has everything have a reason to be sad. They have a family, money, great grades, good looks, friends, all of their family members are still around. The list could go
on on on on on on .
But it’s like this, who determines who gets to be sad??? Who say’s oh well your mom died are you sure you’re not depressed? Or how you’ve never experience loss? Why are you sad then? Where do we think that we have the right to tell someone how they should feel? It doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t get how we can look at someone and tell them that they have no right to feel this emotion? Emotions are sporadic, always changing and unexplained.
Life is hard.
Life is hard and life is hard for everyone. For some teens it is a struggle to get out of bed, shower or even walk into high school everyday. We think because they’re teenagers that life can’t be hard for them. That oh they’ve got nothing to worry about. Parents focus on what they should be doing, what grades they should be getting, or the next chore list they have to check off. When their kids stop meeting their expectations, well that just ins’t acceptable now is it? What do you mean your GPA has dropped? Why didn’t you do the dishes? Where were you so late? You know your curfew. Parents are looking at their child’s failures and thinking that it’s personal. They don’t think that their kid could be hmm I don’t maybe hating their life? Oh but how could they hate it, I provide so much for them.
When a teen is acting abnormally, turning to drugs, staying home sick more often, grades are slipping, spending a lot of time alone on the internet. Shouldn’t you be concerned with why? Why is my baby turning to drugs instead of my arms? As a parent you should always be their superwoman or superman. I’m aware that this puts pressure on a parents already hard life as well. But all it takes is a hug, an I love you, I’m proud of you, I’m happy you’re my kid, or a simple you’re worth it. Before it’s too late.
Like I said life hits everyone hard. Adults can suffer just as much as teens do. The important thing to remember is to know what to do when a loved one is depressed. Clearly I’m no psychologist (yet) but having dealt with depression personally and seen people very close to me suffer with this horrible sickness, I’d like to share some things. Know that suicide is not a symptom of depression. People who are depressed are at risk for suicide but it isn’t a symptom. So don’t think that every person that’s sick is going to try to kill themselves. Do you need to watch for the signs or suicide? Of course. I mean in 2009 suicide was the 10th leading cause of death in America. Suicide stems from all the symptoms of depression. Understand the why. When I was having thoughts of suicide it was because of extreme guilt, I thought my parents lives would be easier if they didn’t have me here as a disappointment. I thought my death would be easier to swallow than the pain I had already caused them. I know my parents love me and they weren’t doing a bad job of showing it, but suicidal thoughts are most of the time irrational. When someone commits suicide it is easy to say that they had so much to live for, that they were worth something. It should never take a bottle of pills, a note written out, and an ambulance ride for someone to know that they’re not worthless.
It is honestly heart breaking that one can feel so much darkness that they kill themselves hoping for a beam of lightness to break through.
Be empathetic when it comes to this illness. Because fighting your own demons.. I can’t actually find words to describe what this is like.
Recovering from depression, is a personal battle. I believe it is different for everyone. For some it takes two anti-depressants a day and three therapy sessions a week. For me it was God, He saved me. Either way there has to be hope. Hope for yourself to get better. Hope and desire to get out of this funk. That is why treating depression is so hard because hope doesn’t come packaged in a little pink pill that can be swallowed with water. You can’t force someone to have hope. Like I said before depression becomes a comfort for people. It takes them wanting to not be happy but to not be in the darkness anymore. I don’t think depression goes away completely either. I think we will always have dark days; days where we just can’t shake off the pain we still might feel. Knowing that depressions demons won’t last forever allows me to be thankful for all the good days I do get to experience.
Just because you cannot force someone to want to live their life doesn’t mean you can’t hold their hand during their struggles. Don’t say to them: It’s all in your head (uh yeah of course it’s in my head? Depression is a MENTAL illness?) There’s always someone worse off than you are. Life is not always fair. Try not to be so depressed. I can’t do anything about it. You can do something about it. Kindness. Offer them kindness and love. Patience, have patience. Because better days are yet to come.
I know that I have been switching between topics lately and I’m sorry it’s been like one extreme to the next. I just wanted to show some versatility in the first week of my blog. This isn’t just a makeup blog, I only started with makeup because I had been getting a lot of questions lately about it. I have a lot to say about things in the world. I want to share my thoughts here and if you read them great, if you don’t like them and want more makeup, stick around because I’ll still be posting about it. I just don’t want to box myself in being able to blog about one thing. I’m passionate about a lot of things.