In today’s world, it’s easy to let others know your opinion on something. Whether it be through a tweet, Facebook status or Instagram comment. We can express ourselves freely with social media. It’s an awesome thing that we’re able to have the freedom to post what we want, comment whatever we want and show people our lives in whatever way we want. Along with posting our own lives we follow others’ lives as well. We care to know what picture this person will post, what tweet they’ll tweet and if we don’t care, then we have the possibility to click the unfriend or unfollow button to no longer see their lives. It’s as simple as that. If we don’t like someone, all we need to do is click a button.
With the anonymity or disguise of using social networking we’re able to say things that we wouldn’t normally say in person. Same for texting, it’s easier for some people to say things through a text, than it would be in person. This isn’t a bad thing. Relationships can form easier and almost better, depending on the two people. Now, where this starts to take a bad turn is when mean comments are shared. I know we’ve all heard the talk on cyber bullying. This is still a very serious thing. And where I want to focus on is the bullying that takes place between women.
Women are oppressed. (If you disagree, I’d be happy to send you a link to a few websites.) Women are oppressed by men. As a whole, we’re not seen as an equal. We’re told to bear them children, to make them a sandwich, to clean, to stay at home, to not be better than a man in any way. If a man is bossy, he’s powerful and respected. If a female is bossy, they’re controlling and bitchy (excuse my language.) We’re afraid to say no to a guy because we don’t want to hurt his ego. We don’t want to express our jealousy while in a relationship because we don’t want him to think we’re crazy. Women are living in fear because if they stand up to a man they’ll get shot. This is not an exaggeration, it is actually happening.
Here comes the question of “why?” Why on earth do men think it is okay to treat women this way? I don’t believe there is an exact answer. Though, I do believe that men will treat women awful because women treat women awful. To quote the beloved and ever relevant movie Mean Girls as Ms. Norbury says: “You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it OK for guys to call you sluts and whores.” I am in no way making an excuse for the way men treat women, because it is inexcusable. I’m only trying to get my point across of where the hate can come from.
As women or simply human beings, we should treat others with respect. But especially eachother, because our actions are influential. It’s so easy to subtweet another girl about her hair, clothes, or any other petty thing. We can cut each other down like no problem because that’s what social media allows us.
Women should not be in a competition with each other. We are all different and beautiful. Not every person on this earth will like you and you won’t like every single person in the world. That is OK. What we all deserve as human beings is respect and kindness. Why harbor onto hate when it takes so much of your energy. How much easier would it be to just not say anything towards you’re fellow sister. As women being oppressed, we should not be helping men, but instead helping each other. Don’t give men something to talk about. Don’t let the stigma of girls being drama filled be true. Break it. Together it can be broken.
When I see or hear hate between women I get disgusted. But when I see “Twitter Drama” I always wonder if it’s making those people feel better. Do they thrive off attacking other people? Do they just sit by and wait to say something to that girl? What are you gaining when you call another girl a bitch or slut or ugly? Did that make you feel better? Did that suddenly lift your self-image? The truth is there is nothing to gain from hate filled comments. To quote Mean Girls again, because yes it’s that good, when Cady is struck by an epiphany. “Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.” Making someone else feel worse shouldn’t make you feel any better. It can’t. And if it does, then you really need to take a minute to evaluate yourself. No I take that back, not even a minute. You need to take like five years to cleanse your hate filled soul. I know it can be easy to start drama. I didn’t have a twitter for two years because it was too easy for me to say mean things. I think back to the tweets I would put out on the internet and I cringe because I was so mean, for no reason at all. It goes back to the old saying: “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.”
Girl on girl hate isn’t always through social media. It happens everyday. I touched briefly on this in my Self-Love post. When a girl walks into a room the first thing we do is judge them. We look the girl up and down and form an opinion based on that first look. This happens without thought. Or at least it does for me. It’s hard to change your mind around. But what can change is weather or not you tell your friend your negative thoughts. If a girl walks into a room and you say nothing, awesome. But if you judge her and share your judgments with your friend, then it becomes a problem. All you need to do is zip your mouth. Don’t speak of your negative thoughts. Negativity breeds more negativity.
Girls, we need to love and uplift each other. Be the you that your younger self needed or can look up to. Don’t talk about other girls because you’re jealous. Envy is a natural response to wealth. Don’t let that ruin who you are. Be nothing but a positive influence to those around you. I know this is a huge problem and realistically it’ll never cease to exists. We can’t change other women. We can only change ourselves; changing ourselves can lead to drastic change around you. Just remember that you don’t have to like somebody, but you do have to be kind.