Hey you guys, first I’d like to apologize for going M.I.A. I know I haven’t been consistent in my posts and I’m sorry for that. I feel like most bloggers can relate to this “slump”, it’s hard not to fall into it. I know I told myself I wouldn’t let that happen to this blog. But, life takes over and it becomes hard to upload good content consistently. I did my whole Prom Series, but even those could have been better. To be completely honest with you all, I haven’t been that motivated. I was uploading but only doing it to keep up with my schedule and I was even falling behind in that.
As some of you know I struggle a bit with depression, you can read about it in these posts, (Life is hard and Mental Illness is real, and Recipe for Overcoming a Sad Day). I know I should take my own advice and get over these days, but that’s easier said then done. Getting stuck in my own head becomes a comfort and I don’t want to let go of that darkness. I know that sounds a bit funky so here’s a quote to better illustrate what I mean: “Because that’s the thing about depression. When I feel it deeply, I don’t want to let it go. It becomes a comfort. I want to cloak myself under its heavy weight and breathe it into my lungs. I want to nurture it, grow it, cultivate it. It’s mine. I want to check out with it, drift asleep wrapped in its arms and not wake up for a long, long time.”
― Stephanie Perkins, Lola and the Boy Next Door.
When I’m in this head space it’s hard to think about classes and keeping my GPA up, let alone blogging. Especially when depression breeds such dangerous, self-loathing thoughts. It’s hard for me to remember why I started this blog and what it means to me. My thoughts are telling me that no one likes my blog and no one actually reads it. I have to keep reminding myself that I started here to write about what I love. How many views I get shouldn’t matter or make me feel like a failure. I’m here to blog about the things I love writing about.
However, I want to be nothing but happy with the content I’m putting out here. Lately I haven’t been. So, for me to feel one hundred percent with my posts, I’m going to have to take a small break. I have finals coming up, a bunch of projects due, and I’m trying to find summer employment. For the next three or so weeks I won’t be posting. I know I have readers from all over the world and I can’t even fathom the fact people from Germany, Taiwan, United Kingdom, Thailand, Chile, and so many more read my writings. I didn’t even think people outside of Ohio would find my posts. I can’t thank you all enough for clicking on my posts and reading them. I hope that you guys will understand where I’m at and where my head is right now. I want to put content out that will make you guys happy too. So again, I apologize for not posting recently. I hope you all will be back with me in three weeks time and that you’ll still enjoy coming here.
Thank you again.