Oh man y’all, three whole semesters of college have passed. I would say they’ve gone by fast but in all honesty, they haven’t. I mean looking back yeah, but this semester in particular dragged on. For psych majors our sophomore year is the hardest. It’s when our majors start picking up, and a larger work load is dumped on us. So, man, when I reflect on this semester I feel so many emotions. Let’s see if I can put them into words. Doubtful, but I’ll still try.
“Everything will be fine.” Became my mantra from my very first day on campus. I didn’t pack until the day I moved in because, hey, I love to torture myself. This mantra is repeated on a daily basis, because there is always something I am freaking out about. Oh hi, anxiety.
The friends I started this semester with is not who I ended this semester with, and I am okay with that. We meet a lot of temporary friends and people during our college years and it took a lot for me to realize that. I think we all come to college and expect to meet our life long friends here, our bridesmaids, and our forever friends. While this can be true for some people, it is important to drop those expectations. I had them and was left ultimately disappointed in the end. (I should take my own advice for once in my life). I am not going to get into details because that’s petty, but I will say that “high school drama” doesn’t always end in high school. Especially at a college that’s as small as mine. But I try to worry about my own damn self and focus on my school work. My point is that friends, even your best friends, come and go. That’s life. We must move on.
Statistics is hard. That’s an understatement. It sucked. I hated it. Honestly this point was just for me to complain about how much I hated stats and I AM SO HAPPY I AM DONE WITH IT. (Misha and Dakoda can you hear my screams of joy?)
Living in an apartment is amazing. Dorm life sucked and MVNU actually has some of the nicer dorms. But living in an apartment with a “kitchen” and having a living room was so freaking nice. I love that I don’t need to spend every minute in my bedroom. Also, no communal bath. Need I say more?
This semester taught me my personality type: INTJ. I highly recommend taking it. I will link below some sites that I used to find out more about myself because I did take mine in my Psychology of Personality class. Take the test. Learn more about your type. Learn some more because aren’t we all a little obsessed with ourselves? No? Just me?
My best friend Julia and I got closer. Just when I thought I knew everything about my best friend we went through a life changing (lol #mvnulifechanging) event together and BAM. We’re like glue. Actually stronger than glue because that can be separated and we can’t. No, but really, she’s my sister. This semester has strengthened and tested our friendship so much and I could not have made it through without her. She saw me at my messiest this semester and still loves me. We all have a lot of emotional baggage, some more than others, but we gotta find people who will dig through our baggage with us. Who will try a few things on. Who will find the hidden bag, open it with us once and then hide it once again. Who will continue to open up bags that have too much stuff inside and let those things out. These people are few and far between, so once you find them, hold on super freaking tight. Julia has dug through my baggage and she will continue to do so for the rest of our lives.
This semester came with anxiety. Way more than usual. Or at least it feels that way because I was more open than ever about it. But man, freshman year, depression hit and this year I had a whole lot of anxiety with a small side of depression. What can ya do? Some years are better than others. I am learning more and more about myself and how to work through my mental illnesses. They haven’t stopped me in awhile, and I hope to keep it that way.
I experienced happiness this semester y’all. Which has been the most emotional experience I can say I’ve had. Since you know I struggle with the weight that my mental disorders bring, happiness is something that is hard to feel. It’s too light. The weight that I am already carrying is too much to for me to feel the lightness of happiness. Usually. This semester has been different, way different. Happy moments are something that I do experience, but for me to say that I felt happy for more than a few minutes is a lot. My friends that I met this semester helped me experience this. I met Jordan, who is the goofiest, funniest, kindest, most heartfelt person I will ever meet. He is the only person I know who can shamelessly wear the same outfit five days in a row. I met Noah, who is so passionate about real world issues, he has a heart full of love, and a smile that lights up a room. He is the only person who loathes cargo shorts as much as I do and who loves fashion almost as much as me. I met Kara, who is so full of love that it’s spilling out of her. She has taught me much about giving love and patience. I met Jen, who I really met last year but we only got close this semester. Jen, how to sum her up in a few sentences. She’s hilarious, even if she doesn’t realize it, her heart is accepting, kind, and loving. People like Jen are rare and I could not be more lucky to have met her. I met Kat, who is a fellow INTJ and she’s so candidly herself it’s admirable. She’s adorable and you can’t not love her. Julia obviously, who is an incredible individual. These people have given me a true college experience. Memories that will always make me laugh. They have taught me happiness.
This semester taught me that grades don’t define me.
This semester taught me that college is the time to make important and life long connections.
This semester taught me that I am 100% not a night owl. I need a solid seven hours of sleep. I learned the hard way by oversleeping my alarm for a week straight. But staying up til 2 A.M. making memories was worth it. (Thank you landslide).
This semester was wild start to finish it. I went through what felt like hell and I went through some of the best times of my life.
Hope y’all had a good semester. Thank you for reading!