The day that’s either most coveted or dreaded. No matter what, there will still be a sale on candy the day after. I’m not here to rag on Valentine’s day and hate on all of the cute couples who go out and do cute couple things like feed each other food (gross) or play footsie under the dinner table (ew). (Clearly, it’s been awhile since I’ve dated lol). I am here though, to encourage self love and friendship. I am always here, regardless of the day, to encourage self love. I’ve written many posts on self love, but I’ve written few on the importance of solid girl friendships.
As an introvert it’s rare for me to have more than one or two friends. Large groups tend to terrify me. But, this Valentine’s day, my girls and I are going to see a fun movie and enjoy each other’s company. We hear a lot about girls not having a lot of other girl friends because girls are just “TOO much drama”, and “OMG no tammy I can’t even talk to her without her telling me how many guys she’s slept with!” (#StopSlutShaming2kFOREVER). Honestly though, I’m sure we’ve all said we’d rather hangout with guys because they’re way less drama, totally not true and if you doubt me I am prepared to fight you. (lol the irony.) In doing so, we not only perpetuate the endless cycle of jealousy and self critical thoughts, we also encourage misogyny. I understand that there are just some people that we simply do not like, that’s OK, its the beauty of diversity. What is not okay is hatred and petty gossip. I know all of our mommas told us “if you don’t have anything nice to say than don’t say anything at all”, so please y’all let’s work on that.
Let’s work on being kind. Women have got to start lifting other up. Seventeen magazine wrote an article on one of my favorite YouTubers Jaclyn Hill in response to Jaclyn’s emotional video about girl on girl hate. I highly recommend reading it. I honestly feel like a broken record, because I’ve wrote so many posts on this topic alone. Because this is real and it is something that I have to work on daily. I hate that naturally I judge another woman who’s doing better than me. I’m envious of the clothes shes wears, of her natural beauty, of where she’s at and where I’m not. So I drag her to try to make myself feel better. I’m not proud of admitting this. I’m human and I fail daily. I want y’all to know this, that it’s not easy. I’m not the best at encouraging other women, especially when I’m dealing with so many personal issues. What I am getting better at is realizing that there won’t be a time when life is easy. Life will be a challenge and those personal challenges do NOT give me and excuse to spew hatred in the name of jealously. I am also getting better at valuing my girl friends and solidifying those friendships. I realize the importance of finding love and a home within my circle of girl friends. I genuinely love seeing them succeed and I love seeing them happy. I want them to be happy and if their not, I want to help them get to happiness.
So this Valentines day, instead of being envious of cute and adorably obnoxious couples, I’m going to spend the day loving my friends. They are my kin by choice, not by blood, and that in itself is something worth cherishing. I value my friendship with them and I am working on showing them that. Girls are forever and boys are whatever, right? Girls are not anymore drama filled and “fake” than guys are. We’re all human and we all have drama. We need solid girl friends to help us through life and I hope y’all realize that.
Spend Valentine’s day doing something you love with someone you love. It’s just another day but this one gives us an excuse to splurge on cute chocolates. I hope y’all have a good week!