Hey y’all! I hope everyone has been having a great summer. If you feel you haven’t, don’t worry because there’s still time! Anyways, sorry for the lack of post last week. If you follow me on Instagram (@heiids), you’d know I was taking a staycation from blogging. I had been consistently posting once a week since the beginning of the year and I just really needed to take a mini break. Anyways, this past weekend I visited my best friend, Julia, in Cleveland and per usual we had intense conversations. My favorite one and you guessed it the one I’m writing this weeks blog post about, is the argument or mentality of “I’m not like other girls.”
I know we’ve all heard it before. Whether it be from fellow females or males trying to compliment you. If it’s been tossed in your direction you’ve more than likely experienced it in a way that was meant to be taken as a compliment. Because “those girls” are girly-girl air heads who only care about makeup. But, I don’t find this as a compliment. In fact, I find it quite insulting. I remember not too long ago, I dreaded being associated with “those girls”. As if they were a sickness and I needed to get my “anti-feminine” vaccine as soon as possible. I rejected the color pink, nail polish, reading gossip magazines, drama, trying too hard, etc. You get the point. I so badly wanted to be “one of the guys” because girls are just waay to much drama. All of my actions were based on this internalized misogynistic view that I didn’t even realize how wrong they were. Often times, we don’t realize where our misogynistic lens comes from. We just accept it and further perpetuate it. But, as I have gotten older and more mature, I’ve realized that someone needed to ask me the simple question, “what’s wrong with other girls?”
No one asked me why I wanted to dissociate myself from “those girls” or what exactly is so wrong with other girls? No one asked me why I thought only girls had drama. (Side note: guys DO have drama). More importantly, I didn’t ask myself those questions. Somehow I believed that I was better than those girls. What I’ve learned is that “those girls” are awesome, amazing, intelligent, and beautiful. All girls are different. All girls are different because each girl is a human with a brain who has different interests. All girls are different and deserve to be treated with respect, regardless of their outward appearance. Let me quote a tumblr quote that explains this well.
“The whole “I’m not like other girls” movement should really be called the “I don’t want men to treat me the way they treat other women” movement because that’s what it really is. Women know that a girl who wears makeup is as respectable as a girl who wears none. A girl who’s played every Final Fantasy game is as respectable as a girl who digs Candy Crush. A woman who started her own law firm is as respectable as a single mom who works in the service industry. A girl who enjoys casual sex is as respectable as a girl who has never had her first kiss. A lesbian who has no interest in men is as respectable as a straight girl who loves her boyfriend. A girl who reads People magazine is as respectable as a girl who reads Dostoyevsky.
Women have been extensively shamed for saying “I’m not like other girls” when what they are really saying, maybe without knowing it, is “I’ve heard the way men talk about specific types of women, typically women who do things that they don’t understand or relate to, and I really, really want them to separate me from that and see me as a person who is worthy of being respected.” How much respect a woman gets from men is very rarely indicative of how much she deserves.
“I don’t want you to treat me the way you treat other girls, because you treat other girls like shit.””-Source
I truly hope that in reading this, y’all are aware of what you’re truly saying. This whole “other girls” argument is putting women in a competition against each other that none of us signed up for. Other girls are awesome. Other girls aren’t you and that’s okay, it makes them awesome. Look at our differences and be amazed, instead of threatened. If we want misogyny to end, we have to work together. We have to stop using this language. It’s damaging to everyone, well except guys. Please just try to be more aware of the hatefulness you’re spreading. Spread positivity and uplift others.